#1: Be a careful listener

Ascension Lutheran Church

#1: Be a careful listener

They say that good communication always begins with good listening. Listening is a real way of showing the other person you care, that this conversation is truly about them, not about you and what you have to say. Being a careful listener means listening between the lines. What is their mood: angry? defiant? hurt? confused? frustrated? or sincere? Meet their mood with the appropriate calm, comfort, and sincerity of God’s Word.

Look for the real issue behind the words. If your sister-in-law says, “I don’t go to church because all they want is money!” what is the real problem? Was her conscience burned in the past by a church commanding her to give instead of convincing her heart to give in response to God’s grace? Does she question if God can take care of her needs or deny that everything comes from him in the first place? These questions can only be explored if you begin with careful listening.

One thing’s for sure—no one will ever get mad at you for listening!

#6 Feel...Felt...Found

In the past weeks we’ve considered https://subsplash.com/u/ascensionlutheranchurch/media/d/2cvf66r-5-set-the-issue-aside to make the most of the witnessing opportunities that God gives us: show you really care by being a careful listener; acknowledge others’ opinions; try to get down to the personal level of our sin and God’s grace; stick to the unchanging truth of God’s Word; and if needed set objections and questions aside and come back to them later with a better Biblical answer. An easy way to incorporate these five principles into your witnessing is by remembering FEEL… FELT… FOUND. Whenever someone has an objection to God’s Word (and because of our sinful condition we sinners will naturally object or seek exceptions to God’s will), answer by saying: “I can see how you might FEEL that way...” “I know others have FELT the same way...” (or “I’ve FELT that way myself….”) “But what I've FOUND in God’s Word is…” Framing the conversation in these terms shows that you care, that you acknowledge their opinion, and naturally leads back to God’s Word without imposing our beliefs on others.

#5 Set the Issue Aside

Have you ever heard of the term “a red herring”? It’s something meant to divert attention from the real matter at hand. Understandably it’s uncomfortable for anyone, especially an unbeliever, to have a heart-to-heart conversation about guilt and grace and God’s Savior. So, without even realizing it, they may try to sidetrack the conversation by bringing up a topic or question that turns the spotlight from the real issue—their relationship with God. Love for another person requires that we respectfully hear them out (#1 & 2), gently respond as we are able, but keep returning to the main issue—sin and grace (#3). People throw out the red herrings of money or hypocrisy in the visible church, politics, science, social issues etc. We’ll talk about how to handle some of these in the future, but in the meantime it’s best to set those peripheral issues aside by: 1.) Answering it in a sincere and simple way. 2.) If needed, promise to return with a better biblical answer (which keeps the spiritual conversation going). 3.) Encouraging a visit with the pastor and attendance at your church's Bible class. In any case, always remember that you don’t have to be able to answer every question or objection for the Holy Spirit to work, nor do you have to handle every objection on the spot. Take your time. Use the resources God has given you: the Bible, your pastor, your Christian friends, and perhaps most importantly of all continue to show genuine love and concern for the soul God has brought to you.

#4 Get Back to Biblical Ground

In the Great Commission Jesus told his followers, “Go and make disciples of all nations by baptizing them … and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” Jesus says sinners are made disciples by the converting power of his Word and sacraments, not by our persuasive power of our arguments. By faith we need to resist that temptation and continually come back to the Bible as the basis of what we say and believe. Without the all-powerful uncompromising truth of God’s Word on our side, our conversations about Jesus will inevitably devolve into one person’s opinion against another’s. With such arguments God is not pleased; Christ is not glorified; and no one wins. So when you’re having a spiritual conversation with someone you love and the conversation turns towards the slippery slope of personal opinion, pray that God gives you the wisdom to bring things back into perspective, back to Biblical ground. It’s only God’s Word that creates faith in the heart, and without faith no one can peer into the deep mysteries of God.