BECOMING YOUR BEST SELF “LETTING GO OF PAST FAILURES” Philippians 3:13-14 (NKJV) “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” There is a very popular quote from Alexander Pope’s poem AN ESSAY ON CRITICISM that says, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” While most of us—myself included, probably have never read the poem all of us can relate to the quote, because it is apart of the human experience to make mistakes and encounter failure. No one can live a positive life without failing. Failure is a part of life. It’s inescapable, but failure is only a loss if you don’t learn anything from it. Nonetheless, nobody likes to face failure. It is an experience dreaded by everyone. As humans, we wish to avoid failure as much as possible. THE REASON WHY IS BECAUSE WE GIVE FAILURE SO MUCH POWER OVER OUR EMOTIONS. We tend to hold onto failure, and it is the thing that makes us afraid of moving forward. It always remains in the back of our minds and our hearts as a shameful and painful incident. Failure and making mistakes are hidden away or seen as a human weakness. However, this is NOT how it should be. We should be able to let go of failure and more importantly should be able to learn from it. Failure should NOT have the control that it does on our lives. The truth of the matter is most successful people have failed in their lives at some point—some more severely than others. However, those who make it to the pinnacle only do so by dusting themselves off and taking inventory of what their failures have taught them. Instead of seeing a failure as an insurmountable setback, what successful people do is, they see their failures as a learning experience and a guide to a different path to success. “Successful people don’t fear failure but understand that it’s necessary to learn and grow from.” –ROBERT KIYOSAKI “The real test is not whether you avoid failure, because you won’t. It is whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.” –BARACK OBAMA HOW DOES ONE GET OVER THE IDEA OF FAILURE AS A STUMBLING BLOCK? CHANGE THE FOCUS “WHATEVER IT IS YOU ARE FOCUSING ON…YOU’LL RECEIVE MORE OF” - UNKNOWN When most of us are going through a rough patch in life, what we tend to do is spend most of our energy focusing on the thing(s) we DON’T WANT! We dwell on the thing(s) that makes us feel worse. We tend to concentrate on the failure—that something we actually don’t want to happen in our life. However, whatever it is that you’re focusing on -- will become more and more significant in your life. If you focus on the good, you’ll get more of it, if you focus on the bad, you’ll get more of it. Note: God only gives us 1,440 minutes per day we must be mindful how we spend each minute. In the text Paul admonishes us to, “Forget those things which are behind.” Of course, he is referring to not looking back at past Relationships, Memories, Failures, Temptations or Anything else that carries with it the power to distract us from having a single-minded focus on the “upward call of God in Christ.” Dwelling on past failures beyond the essential learning is a pure and simple waste of time. The word “Forgetting” – means, “to no longer care for.” It carries the idea of no longer being influenced by a thing. To forget in this way is to stop dwelling on something. Paul is drawing on the image of an athlete running a race and suggests that for a runner to win a race, the runner must dismiss ever distraction from his mind. He must not rehash every early misstep or dwell on the mistakes he’s made along his course. “Forgetting what is behind” is Paul’s way of saying, “Don’t look back! Stop focusing on the past.” In other words, “DON’T LET THAT WHICH IS BEHIND YOU INTERFERE WITH THAT WHICH IS IN FRONT OF YOU.” THE REAR-VIEW MIRRORS ARE THE SMALLEST FOR A REASON WE CANNOT ALLOW FAILURE TO MAKE US LOSE FOCUS! INCREASE YOUR DETERMINATION Paul continued to tell us in Philippians 3:13 that we must persistently be “…reaching forth unto those things which are before.” This statement is packed with divine insight. When Paul wrote that we must be “reaching forth” to the things before us, he used the Greek word [EPEKTEINO] — an old word that was used to picture runners in a foot race. It is a triple com- pound of the words EPI, EK, and TEINO. The word “epi” means upon; the word “ek” means out; and the word “teino” means to stretch out or to strain forward. When these three words are compounded into one word as they are in Philippians 3:13, where Paul urged us to be “reaching forth” to the things before us, it portrays the mental image of a runner who is running with all his might toward the finish line before him. As he approaches the goal in front of him, he reaches out (ek) toward the goal before him. Straining with every ounce of his being (teino), he stretches out and presses toward the finish line. At long last, he leans forward to lay hold upon (epi) the goal — the finish line. If the runner is to reach that goal and receive the cherished prize, he must give his very best effort to the race. He can reach the finish line and win the prize, but it will not happen without an increased determination to be the best — nor will it occur unless he possesses a willingness to push harder than any of the other runners. This prize will go only to those who are the most determined. This lets us know that if we are to accomplish our Holy Spirit-inspired goals and win the prize, we’re going to have to focus on those goals — and on God and His Word — as we commit to giving 100 percent of our efforts to achieving the desired result. FAILURE SHOULD BE THE FUEL THAT PROPELS US FORWARD “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” –MICHAEL JORDAN. BE FREED FROM PEOPLE In the text, Paul realized that the journey he was on was Individual, not collective. “Brethren I count not myself to have apprehended…” “…This one thing I do…” “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God” Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. We get easily influenced (and sometimes spooked) by what people say about us. Remember, this is your journey…not theirs! What one person considers to be true about you is not necessary the truth about you, and if you give too much power to others’ opinions, it could undermine your ultimate ability to succeed. THE REALITY IS PEOPLE CAN ALWAYS FIND A FAULT WITH SOMETHING YOU ARE DOING! Guess what? They are measuring you based on their own set of rules and or standards about how things need to be in your life, but that’s THEIR RULES…not yours. What makes their rules right? Nothing. “The rules of negative people are often built on damaged foundations without the proper beliefs and mindsets needed for success” –TIM DENNING KNOW FAVOR IS AFTER FAILURE Please note Paul talked about “The prize of the high calling of God” PAUL’S OBSESSION WAS HIS FUTURE NOT HIS FAILURES. Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome. In fact, it will only intensify the outcome, trapping you in an emotional doom-loop that disables you from moving on. You cannot change the past, but you can shape your future. The faster you take a positive step forward, the quicker you can leave the debilitating monopolizing thoughts behind. Don Shula, the winningest coach in the NFL, holding the record for most career wins (including two super bowl victories) and the only perfect season in NFL history. But he had a 24-hour rule, a policy of looking forward instead of dwelling on the past. Coach Shula allowed himself, his staff and his players 24 hours to celebrate a victory or brood over a defeat. During those 24 hours, Shula encouraged them to feel their emotions of success or failure as deeply as they could. The next day, it was time to put it behind them and focus their energy on preparing for their next challenge. His philosophy was that if you keep your failures and victories in perspective, you’ll do better in the long run.
HOW TO BECOME YOUR BEST SELF “MAXIMIZING YOUR TIME” Ephesians 5:15-17 (NKJV) “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, REDEEMING THE TIME, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” I have discovered that one thing all successful people have in common is, they make the most of their time. Successful people understand that their time is equivalent to whatever money or opportunity can be earned in that period of time. They are clear and focused on such time usage, and this requires some mental toughness. John C. Maxwell said, “THE SECRET OF YOUR SUCCESS IS DETERMINED BY YOUR DAILY AGENDA” JIM ROHN said, “TIME IS MORE VALUABLE THAN MONEY. YOU CAN GET MORE MONEY, BUT YOU CAN’T GET MORE TIME.” THOMAS EDISON, “TIME IS REALLY THE ONLY CAPITAL THAT ANY HUMAN BEING HAS, AND THE ONLY THING HE CAN’T AFFORD TO LOSE.” WE HAVE TO MAXIMIZE OUR TIME! When the Apostle Paul wrote this letter to the Church at Ephesus, he admonished them in a unique way; he challenged them, to “redeem the times”. This was not the only time that Paul used that particular phrase, years later when he addressed the Colossian believers, he wrote to them saying, COL. 4:5 “Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time”. In both passages, the phrase redeeming the time is related to wisdom in how we “walk”, that is to say, in how we live. To redeem something means to buy it back, to regain possession of it. TIME IS A GIFT FROM GOD and none of us know how much of it we are allotted. Even though we are given some indication of a timespan [PS. 90:10], only God knows for certain how much time each of us has on this earth to make decisions that will impact eternity. When God says we should be “redeeming the time,” He wants us to live in constant awareness that the clock is ticking and make the most of the time we have. In fact, the New International Version of Eph. 5:15 puts it like this… “Making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil” SUCCESS IS DETERMINED BY HOW BEST YOU CAN UTILIZE YOUR TIME The context of the command to redeem the time helps us understand what redeeming the time looks like and why it so important. [READ EPH. 5:15-18] Redeeming the times means that we are careful in how we live. It means that we are seeking out and employing wisdom [PROV. 2:1-15]. It means we are seizing every opportunity and using it for God’s glory. It means that we are thinking through our plans and making sure that those plans are aligned with God’s will. Contextually speaking, it also means that we are avoiding empty, harmful activities that could possibly lead to our destruction…such as excess drinking. JESUS TAUGHT HIS DISCIPLES THE NECESSITY OF REDEEMING THE TIMES Jesus said, “As long as it is day, we must do the work of Him who sent Me. Night is coming, when no one can work”. Jesus was diligent about keeping to His mission. Distractions were as prevalent then as they are now, but He let none of those present-day distractions deter Him from preaching and teaching God’s Word. Conversely, we as the disciples of Jesus Christ must follow His example and not let distractions tear away at our time. As I alluded too earlier, being productive is the key to success, but it isn’t always easy. In fact, at times it can be extremely difficult to stay on task. There are things daily that are vying for our time and thus contending with us being productive! Stephen Covey suggests the best way to maximizing our time is by dividing our time into 4 quadrants: Here’s a summary of the meaning of each quadrant: QUADRANT I – IMPORTANT DEADLINES WITH HIGH URGENCY The first quadrant contains tasks and responsibilities that need immediate attention. The space is reserved for emergencies and extremely important deadlines. The problem is if you spend most of your time managing crises and problems it’ll keep getting bigger and bigger until it consumes you. This leads to stress burnout and constantly putting out firs. QUADRANT II – LONG-TERM DEVELOPMENT AND STRATEGIZING The second quadrant is for items that are not urgent right now but are important. Things like strategic planning, relationship building, exercise, preparation, education and other personal development activities–-all things we know we need to do but somehow seldom get around to actually doing because they don’t feel urgent. Quadrant 2 activities are the ones that will really make the difference to your life and help you accomplish a lot more of what you want. This is where highly effective people focus the most. QUADRANT III – DISTRACTIONS WITH HIGH URGENCY The third quadrant is reserved for tasks that appear to have a high urgency but are not at all important. This would be stuff like the crises of others, interruptions, some meeting and some phone calls. Ideally you want to eliminate all of quadrant 3 by either delegating it out to others or by politely saying “no”. QUADRANT IV – ACTIVITIES WITH LITTLE TO NO VALUE The fourth and last quadrant focuses on tasks and responsibilities that do not yield any value—items that are unimportant and are simply a waste of time. Quadrant 4 is all about surfing the internet (without purpose), wasting time browsing social media, watching endless hors of TV. Spending countless hours playing video games. Where Do Spend The Most Of Your Time? If you apply the Covey time management matrix to your own professional and private life, you will notice that most of your activities can be found within quadrant I and III. Experience shows that quadrant II is neglected by most people, especially in the area of their own personal development. However, the importance of the second quadrant must not be underestimated. If you notice a big gap in this quadrant, it means that your focus lies too much on the operative aspect, while the strategic perspective is left behind. For this reason, Covey addresses quadrant II as an exceptionally important part of the matrix. Without this quadrant, efficient time management would not be possible, as it requires strategic elements as well.
BECOMING YOUR BEST SELF “Committing To Your Commitments” Luke 9:23 [NLT] Then He said to the crowd, “if any of you wants to be my followers, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily and follow me…” How often have you committed to something, but didn’t really put your entire being into following through on that commitment? How often have you said you were going to do something, and then just dropped it because you were too busy or didn’t have the energy to continue with it? How many times have you said you were going to change your habits…and then didn’t stick to it? • How many times have you said you were going to take a course, read a book, take on a challenge, start a new hobby, write a book, open a business…and then you barely even start on it (if you start at all)? For many people listening to me right now, this all happens at an alarming rate. There are people who make commitments that aren’t even half commitments; they are more like “quarter commitments.” However, the question tonight is, what if we could deepen our commitments? What would it be like to be so deeply committed, we’d be unshakable? What would it be like to be the person who would walk through walls to meet their purpose in life? How much better would the quality of our life be if we were fully committed to every thing we committed to? • In the text, Jesus emphatically declared following Him required a full commitment. How Can We Be More Committed? 1. TAKE AWAY CHOICE. In the text please note, Jesus only gave His listeners one option, He said, “If any of you wants to be MY follower.” Following Him (becoming a disciple) was the only option. When we’re only half committed, it’s primarily because the door is open for other options. We think, “Sure, I’m going to commit to do this, that or the other, but…but in the back of our minds we’re thinking if that doesn’t work out, I have other options.” However, if we’re going to commit, let’s remove all possibility in our minds of doing anything else. There’s just this one option: doing your commitment. EX. THE CALLING OF ELISHA – [READ I KINGS 19:19-21] Please note – The burning of the plow and eating of the oxen spoke of a total commitment! 2. GIVE YOUR COMMITMENT 100%. In the text Jesus said, “You must give up your own way.” Another way of saying that is, “you must be all in.” Going through the motions doesn’t count. If you’re going to do it, do it with your entire being. Show up fully. Put your whole heart into it. Or don’t do it at all. Only half showing up for other people is painful to them. The same with only showing up halfway for yourself. COL.3:23 [Amplified Bible] – “Whatever you do [whatever your task may be], work from the soul [that is, put in your very best effort], as [something done] for the Lord and not for men.” 3. REMEMBER YOUR DEEPER WHY. In the text Jesus said, “Take Up your cross daily and follow me.” If a person is not taking their commitments seriously, it’s probably because they’ve forgotten the why, why they committed to it in the first place. Why was it so important to start with? When you forget “the why”, the commitment issue then becomes just another thing on your endless to do list! Instead, remember the deeper reason you committed to this — maybe it’s to serve people you care deeply about. Keep them in your heart and make this commitment the most important thing in the world, at least now you’re doing it. Write out why you care so much about this commitment and put that somewhere you can’t miss it. CR. THE CHURCH AT EPHESUS [READ REVELATIONS 2:1-6] 4. ADD COMMITMENTS SLOWLY. Let’s face it: we want to do everything. And yet, this is why we can’t uphold our commitments — we’re overcommitting! Most of us should reduce our commitments (I’ll talk about that next), but once we get to a place where we feel we can add a new commitment…we should be very deliberate about the process of adding a new commitment. We should process/meditate on it for a few days. Commit to it only for a week or two, so that you can see if you have room in your life. Once you feel good about it, add that commitment…but then don’t add others for a little while, until you’re sure you can add another. CR. - JESUS’ RESPONSE WHEN LAZARUS DIED [READ JOHN 11:1-6] 5. GET OUT OF COMMITMENTS YOU AREN’T GOING TO UPHOLD. Most of us are overcommitted — which means we can’t possibly meet all our commitments. In this case, we should first see if there’s a way, we can meet some of those commitments for as long as we said we would (work on a project for a month, for example), but then get out of them once we’ve fulfilled that commitment. That should be our first choice — do what we said we would, but then end it when we can. Next choice is to renegotiate the commitment if necessary — maybe we said we could do it for a year, but we can only do it for the next few months. Maybe we said we could do it every day, but all we’re able to do is three days a week. Let the person know and apologize to them. Lastly, GET OUT OF THE COMMITMENT IF YOU CAN’T DO EITHER OF THE ABOVE. Again, apologize, but recognize that this is necessary if you’re going to fully meet your more important commitments. So, this is a matter of prioritizing which ones you need to meet. But if you must get out of a commitment, let that be a grave lesson in overcommitting yourself.
