“I would have lost hope had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord and be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait I say on the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14

These verses reminded me of a time when I waited on the Lord and He strengthened my heart! It started when I was just going through my day , minding my own business, when I received a phone call. It was from someone that I trusted. This conversation was unexpected and was a clear attack on my motives in a situation. It was harsh and judgmental toward me.

Have you heard of the term “sucker punched”? It’s being punched when you are not expecting it. Being sucker punched in the stomach will knock the wind out of you and you will most likely double over.

This is exactly what I did. After the call I doubled over in the fetal position and cried until I fell asleep. This physical response was meant to protect me from further harm. By doing this I was trying to keep everyone out—even the Lord. This is like when you cut yourself and you grab an injury to stop the bleeding, then you should wash it out, apply ointment and a covering. If you only grab the injury and never finish the process, you can get an infection and it will cause a longer healing process or it may never heal properly.

In the beginning of my recovery work of sexual abuse, I struggled to trust the Lord to bring freedom to my life. So I began to specifically search for scripture about His attributes. What did the word say about who He is?

1. Was He an uncaring faraway God?

2. Was He not aware of my pain?

3. Was He even willing to heal my brokenness?

John 1:12 says…”to those who believe in His name (Jesus) God gives the right to become His child..” So as a child of God, I needed to know His character. I wanted desperately to know He loved and cared for me.

I found these verses comforting.

1. Psalm 147:3 “ He heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds.”

2. Genesis 16:13 Hagar said, “you are the God who sees me.”

3. Psalm 103: 3 “ He forgives all of my sins and heals all of my diseases.”

As His word corrected my views of Him, I was able to put my trust in Him and allow His healing balm to touch my heart.

Reflection

Ask the Lord today to show you His character and also the areas that you need to remove your hand and expose your injury. As you wait, meditate on His word. You can trust that you will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.