"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matthew 7:3-5

Are you the kind of person you want your spouse to become?

The change you desire to see in your marriage starts with you. It is always so easy to point fingers and play the blame game when it comes to marriage. There will always be a need to prove a point, speak harsh words and refuse to apologize especially when emotions are high.

I was once held in the middle of a couple’s heated argument. I heard the wife dole out private conversations about their marriage without remorse. She was angry with her husband and felt the need to speak her mind. Rather than walk away and return to talk about it later with her husband, she disrespected him more with her words and actions.

The truth is that no one comes into a marriage as a perfect person. It is a union between two imperfect people who are willing to love each other, embrace each other’s flaws and weaknesses and support each other through thick and thin.

Two wrongs will usually never make a right. Why not choose to be the one who models the right attitude and response during a conflict. Work on your own inadequacies and shortcomings first before you crucify your spouse.

What are those areas in your life and character that you need to work on to better improve your marriage? Are you bitter? Are you keeping grudges in your heart against your spouse? Are you hard-hearted?

Remember, that it all starts with you. Become that person that you want your spouse to be. Reflect those values you want to see in him or her. Pray also that the Holy Spirit open your eyes to see areas in your life that need work and growth. Darkness will always disappear at the presence of light.

Much Love

– Ufuoma