“All this is from God, who reconciled us to God’s self through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.”

– 2 Corinthians 5:18

In one of my previous congregations, I had a parishioner who came to me somewhat regularly seeking advice. On one of those occasions, the parishioner said something that was very inappropriate and made me feel extremely uncomfortable and angry. As a result, I ended our pastoral relationship outside of their attendance at worship and parish activities.

Months went by when they did not attend church and there was no communication between us. And then, I received an email from them asking me to meet at a local coffee shop, essentially neutral ground. I (somewhat reluctantly) went. And I am so glad that I did. The parishioner had done some work in therapy and owned what had happened. Ever so cautiously, I felt the brick wall that I had constructed inside of myself as protection begin to tumble down. We reconciled and our relationship became friendship. I am so happy that there was a grown-up in the room (and that grown-up was not me).

Reconciliation is such a powerful force. It is love in action. It can happen gradually, like the flow of a river slowly eroding all the rough edges of a rock, transforming it into a round pebble. It can be constructed, piece by piece, like a bridge over a chasm. Or it can happen quickly, like a dam bursting and allowing the water to flow once again.

We live in an increasingly divisive and polarized city, state, country, and world. From interpersonal misunderstandings and disagreements to international conflicts, our instinct is to pull away from those who have (or who might) hurt us. Our instinct leads to increased isolation, either with like-minded others or simply within ourselves.

As Christians, our calling is not to retreat (unless we are at risk of personal harm) but rather to re-engage, re-humanize, and restore relationships. Our calling is to build bridges, not walls. Our calling is to bring new life, hope, and understanding as we seek the Christ in the other and respect the dignity of every human being – even those with whom we disagree or don’t like. As the Archbishop of Canterbury, The Most Reverend Justin Welby, has written, “Identity is not made by defining ourselves against others in hatred and seeking domination: the habits of reconciliation and peace-building liberate our identities, preserve our autonomy, increase our safety, and show us the common good.”

I would like to invite you to a Lenten series called “The Twelve Habits of a Reconciler,” which was created by the Rose Castle Foundation, a part of the Archbishop of Canterbury’s office. We will meet Wednesday evenings, March 12 – April 9, from 6:30 – 7:30 pm. Along the way, we will discuss the twelve ‘lived practices’ that the authors have named and how to apply them to our daily lives. The twelve habits/lived practices include: hospitality, curiosity, generosity, empathy, vulnerability, humility, lament, forgiveness, gratitude, hope, stewardship, and creativity.

Lent calls us to reflect upon and reexamine our relationship with God, Creation, others, and ourselves. Please join us as we explore this faithful approach to changing the world. Registration links will be available soon at christchurchcharlotte.org/serve-the-world/.