CG Questions

How did this sermon land with you? Was it difficult to hear? Eye-opening? Discuss your various reactions as a group.
What is the difference between repentance and reconciliation? What does the Bible have to say about those two topics?
How can we care and reach out to those hurting in the church? Is God prompting you to reach out or act in some way?
What did you learn about the church from this topic?

Sermon Notes

Introduction:

Sometimes the very thing that was designed to be our greatest blessing and bring us the greatest joy becomes the source of our deepest hurt:
• Marriage
• Parents
• Children
• Siblings
• CHURCH

Definition:

What is Church Hurt?
Church Hurt is the pain caused by churches or ministries, its members or its leaders; it is a pain that distances the sufferer from their community and from God.

I. Your pain is real!

Proverbs 18:14
• Your feelings of loss, disappointment, being excluded, etc. are real.
• Your experiences of being sinned against - in word, deed and attitude are real and need healing.

II. Layers of Pain:

• Differences of Opinion
• Unmet Expectations (Proverbs 13:12)
• Mistakes that caused hurt or harm
• Sin: Words, Actions, Attitudes

Spiritual Abuse:
• Leaders or Members that manipulate Scripture for their own gain
• Leaders who use their authority to coerce or manipulate
• Leaders or members who shame or humiliate others
• Emotional, Verbal, Physical or Sexual Abuse (particularly of those in a position of authority)

III. Not all Pain is Equal:

• Beware of pain comparison
• A splinter needs a different medical response than a gunshot wound

Our response needs to be one of love and care, but the urgency, extent and length of recovery will differ.

IV. What Church Hurt is not:

• Disagreement
• Rebuke or Correction
• A reason for Isolation
• A reason for Bitterness

V. What do I do when I’ve been hurt?

Explore the hurt
• What happened and why does it hurt so bad?
• Think about the layers of pain
Name the sin
• What specific sin was committed against you?
Name the loss/What have you lost?
• Friendships
• Family Relationships
• Joy
• Peace
• Sleep
• Resources
• Reputation
• Innocence
Forgive the person/s
• Pray that out loud
• Tell Someone
• Repent - if necessary
• Confront - where safe and appropriate
• Reconcile - if possible
• Remember: Reconciliation is not the same as Restoration

VI. The CHURCH did not hurt you - People hurt you!

• Remember the Church is the Bride of Christ and Jesus loves His Bride! (Ephesians 5:32; 2 Corinthians 11:2; Revelation 19:7; 21:9; 22:17)
• Jesus loves His Church!
• When we are hurt we are hurt by sinners. A local church, a local ministry, a particular pastor, leader or Christian hurt you.
• No one hurts us out of wholeness - people always hurt others out of brokenness.
• When you find your faith shattered by what people did to you, you may have put your faith in people rather than putting your faith in Jesus.
• Most pastors and leaders do not hurt you out of malice but out of blindness, hurt, brokenness, and at times fear manifesting itself in anger.

How do we move forward?
• Jesus loves you and He can heal your hurts!
• Jesus is the answer to your hurt and pain and sometimes He chooses to use the church as a tool for your healing.
• Do not allow the enemy of your soul to lie to you, to isolate or to embitter you! REMEMBER - Unforgiveness, Bitterness and Resentment are providing the devil a foothold in your life.