Episode 49 - We are Made For People (feat. Justin Whitmel Earley)
October 24, 2023 • Justin Whitmel Earley, Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough • Genesis 2:18
In this episode of More Than Roommates, we interview Justin Whitmel Earley, author of Made For People. We discuss loneliness and how to fight for a life of friendship, both inside and outside of marriage. We also talked about vulnerability, technology, forgiveness, social media, and so much more! Shownotes: Justin’s website – https://www.justinwhitmelearley.com/ (check out his email list!) https://amzn.to/46plnkg: Why We Drift Into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of Friendship https://amzn.to/48pus9c: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction https://amzn.to/48p52xo: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhyhtms Questions to Discuss: 1. How’s your friendship with your spouse? How can you grow in your friendship with your spouse? 2. How can you grow in your friendship with others outside of your marriage? 3. Do you have friends who know you fully and love you anyway?
Episode 14 - Can You (and Your Spouse) Have Friends of the Opposite Sex?
March 28, 2023 • Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, Derek Davidson • Ephesians 5:15–16, 1 Corinthians 10:12, 2 Timothy 1:7, Psalm 19:14, Ephesians 5:3
What is the wise thing to do when it comes to marriage and friends of the opposite sex? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to be above reproach with opposite sex friendships and share some practical ways to be thoughtful about opposite sex friendships. https://www.watermark.org/blog/why-do-we-want-to-put-a-stone-in-your-shoe
Episode 13 - Why We Need Healthy Friendships and Community For Our Marriage
March 21, 2023 • Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, Derek Davidson • Proverbs 13:20, Proverbs 27:6, Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 15:22, Hebrews 3:13
What role do friendships and community play in marriage? In this episode, Derek, Scott, and Gabrielle discuss how friendships play a key role in marriage and the ways in which community provides both support and encouragement.
Episode 10 - How to Talk About Lust & Pornography
February 28, 2023 • Scott Kedersha, Derek Davidson, Gabrielle McCullough
In Part 2 in this series on porn, we discuss how to discuss our struggles with community and the importance of confession in marriage. Scott, Derek, and Gabrielle share authentic, biblical, and practical thoughts on confession and community. https://amzn.to/3z6y3uq, by John Elmore https://amzn.to/3izwhcp, by Jonathan “JP” Pokluda & Jon Green https://www.regenerationrecovery.org/ Becoming Something https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-203-a-conversation-with-a-former-p-rn/id1454045768?i=1000601686641 (feat. Joshua Broome)
Fool Proof Counsel
February 12, 2023 • Jonathan Pokluda • Proverbs 14:12, Proverbs 16:25, Proverbs 28:13, James 5:16, Revelation 12:11
Have you ever taken a trip and gotten lost? If so, how did you find your way back? There are two paths in life: the path of isolation and the path of community. As we continue our series, Fool Proof, JP teaches us that isolation, while easy, is extremely destructive, whereas community, while difficult, is where wisdom, health, and life can be found. 1) In isolation we conceal, but with confession we heal 2) In isolation we derail, with correction we prevail 3) In isolation we're distressed, with wise counsel we find success
Life in Our Relationships
November 6, 2022 • Nate Hilgenkamp • 1 Peter 4:7–11
Have you ever felt like it would be easier for you to live a more isolated life? In this message, we talk about how isolation may feel easier, but it isn’t better. We were made for deep relationships and the Bible shows us how to have them! 1) Meaningful relationships come from loving one another deeply 2) Meaningful relationships come from offering hospitality joyfully 3) Meaningful relationships come from serving one another faithfully
Committed
March 20, 2022 • Trent Horner • Romans 12:9–18, Romans 12:1–2, Matthew 22:37–39, John 13:35, Hebrews 10:24–25
What are you committed to in life? Work, kids, material possessions, money, friendships, family? Are you overcommitted to any of them? As we finish our series, Life Together, Trent Horner teaches the third value of community, committed, by studying Romans 12:9-18. KEY TAKEAWAYS -The first two community core values are authentic and biblical. Go back and watch those sermons if you missed them. -If you are an informed sports fan but you don’t know God’s Word, that’s a problem. -A commitment to community is based on love. -In order to love others you must be a student of them and learn what’s important to them. -Do you know the the story of the people you are in life group with? Their fears, insecurities, past, goals, dreams? -Go make a memory and have fun with your life group. Be intentional about creating unique shared experiences. -A commitment to community is a test of endurance. -As christians, we are always on mission and at war. Always. -The closest and most meaningful relationships are often just that because they’ve stood the test of time. -What if you approached your life group with a long distance, marathon mentality? -You will encounter conflict and difficulty along the way. If you don’t acknowledge and embrace this reality, you won’t make it in a life group. -When you encounter difficulty, share, practice hospitality, and be present with one another. -A commitment to community is a fight for unity. -We are prone to division and if we don’t proactively fight against it it will take us out. -If you want to change your life group, draw a circle around yourself and fix everything inside the circle. -As christians, we don’t judge obedience by the outcome. We strive to be faithful no matter the results. -Our greatest disappointments come from unspoken or unmet expectations. Share and discuss your expectations with one another. -We don’t want you to check a bunch of boxes as it relates to being in a life group; we want you to follow Jesus and become more like Him, and one of the best ways we know how to do that is to encourage you to do life with other people in a life group. MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES -Suggested Scripture study: Romans 12:9-18; Romans 12:1-2; Matthew 22:37-39; John 13:35; Hebrews 10:24-25; 1 Peter 5:8 -Sermon: Biblical -Sermon series: Conflicted
Biblical
March 13, 2022 • Jon Green • 2 Timothy 3:14–17, Proverbs 11:14
Where do you find community: work, fitness, sports, kids activities, church…where is it for you? What characteristics mark that group of people? As we continue our series, Life Together, Jon Green teaches through 2 Timothy 3:14-17, teaching our second building block of community: biblical. KEY TAKEAWAYS -All Scripture is God-breathed. -Theology simply means “what you believe about God”. -Does everyone in your life group elevate Scripture in the same way? -Every time you read Scripture, ask God, “What do you want me to learn today?” -Observation: What do I see? -Interpretation: What does it mean? -Application: How does it work? What do I do? -All Scripture is useful. -Are you teaching each other using Scripture? -Rebuking: calling or pointing out sin based on Scripture. Correcting: giving a solution based on Scripture. -Training in righteousness can look like processing decisions based on Scripture (“Hey group, I’m thinking about _____, what do you guys think God and Scripture would have me do?”) vs. reporting decisions after the fact (“Hey guys, FYI, last week I did _____.”) -You can get well-intentioned yet horrific advice. If advice doesn’t align with Scripture, it’s bad advice. -In general, the more you want something the less you should trust yourself. -All Scripture prepares us. -If you think your knowledge of Scripture is for you, you have missed the point. The goal it to take what you learn and build up other people around you. -You will be a better disciple of Jesus if the people around you are reading their Bibles. -It will take time and effort to learn the Bible better, and that is OK. Start where you are today, and commit to growing 24-hours at a time. -When people in your group give counsel ask them to back it up with Scripture. -If you want to grow in your consistency of reading the Bible, you need three things: a time, a place, and a plan. MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES -Suggested Scripture study: 2 Timothy 3:14-17; Proverbs 11:14 -Sermon: Authentic Community -Resource: Bible Reading Plan http://(www.biblereadingplan.orghttp://www.biblereadingplan.org)
Authentic Community
March 6, 2022 • Scott Kedersha • 1 John 1:5–10, Proverbs 29:25, Romans 8:1, James 5:16, John 8:12
Have you ever collected or owned something that you thought was valuable, only to later realize it was inauthentic and fake? As we start our new series, Life Together, Scott Kedersha teaches our first building block of community: authentic. KEY TAKEAWAYS -The bigger we become as a church, the smaller we must become so that everyone can be known and cared for. We do this through life groups. -To be authentic means to be real, genuine. To be who you say you are. -John repeats the idea that “Jesus is the light” all throughout his teaching. Without Jesus, we won’t see things on this earth clearly. He is the light we need to see things as they really are. -Authenticity starts by addressing our sin. -God hates when we minimize our sin. -Authenticity is necessary for fellowship. -These three words & questions are a great way to build authenticity in your life group: 1) Input - How are you feeding your soul? 2) Output - How are you feeding others? 3) Confession - How have you fed your flesh? -Going to life group and not confessing your sin and not being authentic is a terrible hobby and use of time. -Authenticity is necessary for forgiveness. -Is there a part of your life that you don’t want other people to see? Bring it into the light! -How to confess: Confess early. Confess at the thought level. Confess at the temptation level before it even becomes sin. -How to confess: Confess often. Confess everything you don’t want others to know. -How to confess: Confess in detail. Share 100%, not 98%. -The 30-seconds after someone confesses are extremely important. Your response to their confession will dictate whether they share more or they hide. Thank them, listen to them, ask them questions, pray for them. -What are you keeping from others? What are you hiding? What are you afraid to share? -The goal is not to be the most authentic person in the room. The goal is to become more like Jesus. RECOMMENDED RESOURCES -Scripture to study: 1 John 1:5-10; John 8:12, 9:5, 12:46; Proverbs 29:25; Romans 8:1; James 5:16; Proverbs 28:13 -Sermon: Authentic (sermon series: Fresh Start)
Better Together and Awful Alone
October 17, 2021 • Jonathan Pokluda • Ecclesiastes 4, Genesis 2:18, Proverbs 6:10, Proverbs 24:30–34
Have you ever been in a situation where you were in a bad spot and you were alone? How would it have been different if someone else was with you? As we continue our series studying the book of Ecclesiastes, JP teaches us the importance of doing life with other people and not being alone. KEY TAKEAWAYS -You were not designed or created to be alone. -Life is better together and awful alone. -It’s better to be alone in a cemetery than alone and alive. -What keeps you isolated? -Envy and comparing yourself to others will keep you isolated. -When we assess how we are doing in life, we are almost always comparing and measuring ourselves against someone else. Your contentment is based on being better or having more than them. -The essence of laziness is selfishness. -The most self-absorbed person is the farthest from God. -The person who is most isolated is closest to Satan…they are the easiest to pick off and defeat. -Greed will keep you in isolation. -Many people have provided for their family at the expense of their family. -Ty Cobb is arguably one of the greatest, if not the greatest baseball player of all time. On his deathbed, he said he wished he had more friends. Only 3 friends showed up to his funeral. Ty Cobb won at baseball but he lost at life. -The truth is, if you want something bad enough and have enough drive you can probably get it, but make no mistake…it will cost you. Make sure you are pursuing the right things. -What are the benefits of friends? -You can do more and be more productive with others. -The law of synergy shows that when two are together they can accomplish a multiplier of what each could accomplish alone. -To receive (or give) care in life implies that someone else is there. -Idiosyncrasies grow in isolation. -Comfort and strength are both benefits of friendship. -The vast majority of pastoral care emails and messages are from people who are not in community or doing life with close friends and family. They are usually alone. -If you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far go together. -Some people grow so smart they are not teachable. Don’t be one of them! -The loneliest place is leadership. -Leaders and politicians are miserable saviors. -The loneliest place in all of history was Jesus being crucified on the cross. And yet, He did it for us. God used that moment to save us. -If you have an area of your life that you don’t want to let others into, you are inviting the devil into that area of your life. -God paid a great price to defeat Satan and save you, but while you are on earth you are in a strange middle ground and not fully home yet. If you live isolated, you will get taken out. MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES -Suggested Scripture Study: Ecclesiastes 4; Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 6:10, 24:30-34 -Sermon: God Working in Time
Community
September 5, 2021 • Nate Hilgenkamp • 1 Thessalonians 5:14–18
Have you ever had roommates before, or been in close proximity with other people for extended periods of time? What about living by yourself, or being alone for long periods of time? As we continue our series, Family Matters, Nate Hilgenkamp teaches us three characteristics of biblical community and the dangers of isolation by studying 1 Thessalonians 5:14-18. KEY TAKEAWAYS -Doing life with other people can be hard, but isolation is even harder and more dangerous. -Biblical community identifies needs. -There are three types of Life Groups: starving, exhausted, and potluck. -Starving groups are hungry and show up looking for other people to feed them. Everyone hopes everyone else does what they aren’t willing to do (and no one does anything). -Exhausted groups are busy doing too much all the time. They are so busy feeding others that they themselves get exhausted and worn out. -Potluck groups are made up of people where everyone brings something. Sometimes it’s more and sometimes it’s less, but what’s important is that people come and come ready. -Are you willing to lovingly call your brother or sister out when they are being idle or disruptive? -Do you care more about what people will think about you if you lovingly confront them or what will happen to them if they stay on a path of disobedience? -Someone who is disheartened does not need a lecture, a bunch of knowledge, or a list of things to do. They need someone to kindly care for them. -Don’t underestimate the power of empathy. -Sympathy feels bad for someone, empathy feels bad with someone. -When someone is hurting and you don’t know what to do, just do something. Send a text, make a call, bring a meal…just do something. -Does your group need to do a better job of challenging each other or caring for each other? -Biblical community is selfless. -When you are on mission together, your needs and desires are the last thing on your mind. -There is a huge difference between a vacation mindset and a mission mindset. Church…we are on mission! There is an enemy who hates us and we are at war against him. -Are you seeking the good of those around you or the good of yourself? -Biblical community rejoices. -No other religion or ideology can claim continual joy, prayer, and gratitude. -Christian community doesn’t make sense without Christ and the reality that this world is not our home. -Do you spend more time in community talking about the things and problems of this world or about Jesus and being on mission for Him? -When you gather together, remind yourselves of the gospel. Every single time! MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES -Suggested Scripture Study: 1 Thessalonians 5:14-18 -Sermon: Love
Discipleship
August 22, 2021 • Jonathan Pokluda • Matthew 28:16–20, Matthew 16:13–20, John 12:24–26, 1 Corinthians 11:1, 2 Timothy 2:4
Have you ever been discipled by someone? Have you ever discipled someone? As we start our new series, Family Matters, JP teaches us about discipleship…what it is and what it means for our lives today. KEY TAKEAWAYS -Discipleship: Spending time with people to help them follow Jesus. -How are you, in this season of your life, going to faithfully live out the Great Commission? -When the disciples doubted Jesus—even after he resurrected from the dead—He went to them. He pursued them. -The authority of Jesus assures us. -Do you spend more time following your own plans for your life or Jesus’ plan for your life? -The church is the most powerful force the world has ever seen. -The commission of Jesus compels us. -A command tells you what to do. A commission invites you into a mission with someone else. -How do you change the world? One word: discipleship. -Anytime you see maturity you should see immaturity. A mature church without any immature people is a dying church. -To make disciples, focus your life on following Jesus. -If you focus on everything you can “do” for Jesus, all of the “don’ts” in your life will take care of themselves. -Dying to yourself and hating your life in this world is the way Jesus gave us to experience eternal life. -A disciple of Jesus does everything they can to follow Jesus and help others follow Jesus. -One way—one of the main ways the Bible teaches—to experience closeness with Jesus is to suffer for Him. MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES -Suggested Scripture Study: Matthew 28:16-20; 2 Timothy 2:4; Matthew 16:13-20; John 12:24-26; 1 Corinthians 11:1; 2 Timothy 2:1-3
The First Assembly
February 7, 2021 • Jonathan Pokluda • Acts 2:42–47
We all have different preferences when it comes to what church should be like. However, more importantly, how close are we to being the church God had in mind? As we continue our series, Ecclesia, JP gives us a peek into the window of a church that met 2,000 years ago. KEY TAKEAWAYS -God’s church is marked by devotion. -What are you willing to miss life group for? -God’s church is marked by biblical teaching. -We are going to teach from the Bible every week, and we expect you to be reading the Bible every day. -When you gather as a life group, do you talk about and counsel each other from the Bible? -God’s church is marked by fellowship. -Does your group have a “fun guy”? Do you have fun together? -God’s church is marked by communion. -When you are with your life group you can take communion together. -God’s church is marked by prayer. -Do you pray when your life group gathers? Never come together without spending time in prayer. Pray big! -God’s church is marked by awe. -Our issue is not our knowledge of the gospel, but rather, our application of the gospel. -Every time you meet as a life group celebrate what God is doing. -God’s church is marked by generosity. -When you are with your life group, talk about finances and where your money is going. Nothing should be off limits to talk about. -God’s church is marked by worship. -Worship is not just singing http://songs...it’s everything we do and how we live. -God’s church is marked by joy. -Joy in relationships isn’t found, it’s forged. -God’s church is marked by conversions. -If someone were to look through the window of your life group gathering, what would they see? MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES -Suggested Scripture Study: Acts 2:42-47; Acts 1:32-33; 1 Peter 2:9; Romans 12:1-2 -Resource: http://www.biblereadingplan.org -Resource: http://www.gotquestions.org
What is the church?
January 31, 2021 • Jonathan Pokluda • Matthew 16:13–27
When you think of a church, what comes to mind? What makes a good church? What is the church? As we start our new series, Ecclesia: A People Not a Place, JP teaches us that when we think about the church, a lot of us think something that Jesus never meant. KEY TAKEAWAYS -It’s easy to take a new convert to Christianity and tell them what the Christian life is all about. It’s very, very difficult to take someone who has been “in the church” for a long time and teach them a different way. -The biggest problem in Waco, in the Bible Belt, is cultural Christianity. -Cultural Christianity is when you think Christianity is for and about you. It’s about your preferences and making sure you are comfortable and like how things are. -Jesus is the one who started the church, and because of that, He gets to determine what the church is, not us. -When Jesus first talked about and used the word “church,” he would’ve been using it more like an http://army...the idea of “calling out His people;” assembling His people. -The church is: People who belong to Jesus. -You can’t go to church and you can’t watch church. “Going to” or “watching church” would be like watching AT&T Stadium play the Philadelphia http://eagles...it’s a categorical mistake. -When the disciples heard Jesus talk about the church they would’ve thought about the equivalent of Seal Team 6, not potlucks and Sunday school. -To “bind” on earth means to forbid and to “loose” on earth means to allow. -Again, the greatest evil in Waco is cultural Christianity. It doesn’t care about the things of God. -The church cares about what God cares about. -The very first spiritual force to oppose the church happened immediately after Jesus talks about the church for the first time: selfishness (or said differently, personal preferences). -Do not let your preferences rob you of paradise. -Holding the line for Christianity is no longer good enough. If you aren’t up for a battle, just fold. The church does win and it will prevail, but not in America based on the direction our country has been going. -The church is always marked by people making sacrifices. -What does it look like for you to give your http://life...your entire life, every single area of http://it...to Jesus? -We gather so that we can go. -Being enlisted in the military is extremely similar to how it should be in the church: “Here I am. How can I be deployed? How can I be of service?” -The solution to all the problems in our land is the very thing Jesus started on a hillside 2,000 years ago. -There is a war going on and we, Christians, are the soldiers Christ assembled to fight it with Him. MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES -Suggested Scripture Study: Matthew 16:13-26; Romans 12:1-2 -Sermon Series: Fresh Start
Growing a Love for People
October 11, 2020 • Jonathan Pokluda • Philippians 1:1–11
Do you ever look back on life to a season when you had a close group of friends? When you always had someone with you no matter what life threw your way? Do you want to have that today and in the days ahead? As we start our study on the book of Philippians, JP shows us how to grow our affections for others as he teaches through Philippians 1:1-11. KEY TAKEAWAYS - The first thing you are going to see out of the gate when reading Philippians is how much Paul loved the church at Philippi. - The gospel is more powerful than the sin of materialism and the power of demonic forces…it cannot be stopped. - One of the most common features—behind the gospel itself—of successful life groups is they embrace the fact that community is forged and not found. They understand that to have successful community you must learn to love one another. - Grow love for people by partnering with them in the gospel. - As a Christian, every relationship can be summed up in one of two groups: You are either partnered with them in making God known or you are partnered with God in helping them know Him. - If you want to grow affection for someone, be careful with your thoughts. What you think about them will shape how you feel toward them. - The memories you feed determine the emotions you feel. - Grow love for others by seeing them in a process. - You doubting that someone would respond to the gospel is not doubting them, it is doubting God. - Being frustrated with someone’s sanctification process—the process of them becoming more like Jesus—is like assuming their journey is already over. That God is already done with them. - If you are going to be naive about anything, be naive because you are so full of faith that God can change anyone. - When we come to know Jesus, sometimes God takes sin and struggles away immediately, and other times it it takes time and a journey to continue to become more like Jesus. - God is not naive to our sin, He’s just paid for it. - It’s one thing to tell someone you are praying for them, but it’s completely different to tell them what you are praying for them. - One of the most common reasons for conflict is simply a misunderstanding. - We are as divided as we are as a country because everyone is listening to their own feedback loop and simply trying to win arguments with people who have differing beliefs, rather than listening and seeking to understand why someone believes what they do. - Sharing the gospel with everyone you come in contact with is normative for a Christian. Compartmentalizing your faith to a time slot on Sunday is never what God had in mind. - Grow love for others by praying for them. - Your church are the people you gather with week in and week out as a life group, not a room full of people you don’t know when you gather corporately once a week. - How can you better partner with your life group to advance the gospel this week? MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES - Suggested Scripture study: Philippians 1:1-11; Acts 16:11-40; Romans 8:30; 2 Corinthians 5:17 - Sermon: Community-Centered - Sermon: Missional