Summary:
How do we wrestle with the realities and complexities of our family situations today? How do we properly sort through the blessedness and the brokenness? Is it worth it to dig up all the dirt in order to move forward? How do we identify and interact with our biological families and the world given that Scripture tells us that when we're united to God through Christ we become a member of a new family?

Transcript:
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Man, it's hard to get up here and preach after Caleb and Pastor Shane pray, basically do a full sermon. Good morning. My name is Andy. I'm one of the pastors here at Mosaic. If you're new to Mosaic, we're thrilled to have you here. In our bulletins, we have a connection card. We want to get to know you. We went to live in community with you and let you know about what we have to offer in terms of community groups, service groups. You can hand those in at our welcome center if you want a special gift.

Please join me in prayer. Heavenly Father, we come to you today with various family backgrounds. Lord, some of us come from brokenness. Some of us know blessedness very well. Some of us it's a mixed bag. Lord, we try to make sense of it of ourselves, and sometimes we identify ourselves too much by the brokenness, too much by the blessedness. We stray from clinging to who we are in you. Lord, we pray, please help us to define ourselves by who we are in your family through our faith in Jesus Christ. Lord, help us to know how to face our families with our new identity, face the world with our new identity. Lord, we pray, help us to lean in to you, the true source of love today.

Holy Spirit, please be with us as we dealt into some difficult, potentially painful topics for some of us here today. Let your Spirit comfort us. Let your Spirit guide us. Let your spirit keep our gaze on Jesus Christ, on the cross. Lord, we pray this in Jesus' name, amen.

Today, we're continuing our series. It's called Tough and Tender: Developing Resilience for Life. Despite our personal preferences to choose a side of Jesus that we like, Jesus was a man who came and told us to love our enemy. If he turns and speaks against us or hits us, he told us to give the other cheek, but he was a man who spoke hard and firm truth. He was not one or the other. He split both sides right in the middle. He walked that narrow path in life.

We've been talking on some difficult topics to breed resilience in ourselves as Christians. We're trying to give you all a vision for what it would be like if our society was filled with people just like Jesus, tough and tender. Today, we're making sense of our family origins and we're going to be asking how do we embrace the blessedness and face the brokenness. How do we face what's good in the right way, face what's bad in the right way as well?

Why bring this up in this series? Why bring this up at this specific moment in history in Boston? First of all, at Mosaic, family or origin issues are the most common issue that comes up. I was in my residency role the past year, and just time and time again so many people come to me and say, "Andy, you don't know just what it was like in my family."

We're a young congregation. A lot of us come from brokenness, and we're at the point where we're learning how to move forward from that with our new identities in Christ. Some of us are even scared that we have just those difficult family members, those influential family members, those shepherds of our past that were not good influences. We're afraid sometimes that we're appearing to be just like them.

Some of us come from strong families with a good Christian heritage. As we're getting older, we're realizing that our parents are not perfect. The people that once fulfilled your every need that seemed perfect and indestructible, you realize as you come of age that they're not perfect.

Even those of us who come from a strong background, a strong family heritage, a strong faith tradition or denomination, it can be even harder for us to see the brokenness in our situation. Today, we need to ... We all come from families. We all have brokenness that we need to deal with.

We don't just need to talk about this because we're a young church. God is the creator of the family. There's a lot of therapeutic approaches, a lot of theories going around about how to help people to reconcile both the good and the bad of their past. The Bible is all about a family. God creates Adam and Eve in the garden, and he lives in perfect communion with then before they sin. They sin in Genesis 3, and for the rest of the book, all 66 books, it's a story about God trying to unite his family. Man sins over and over again. God keeps pursuing them, pursuing them, pursuing them. We need to turn to God to enter into this conversation.

Just a lot of the therapeutic strategies out there, they harp on the past. They suggest delving into the past. If you take a look back at your life, you can learn more about yourself, and that can help you move forward. If you can find the deficiencies of your upbringing, you can figure out ways to address them and be stronger going forward. If you can shed the influence of your parents and the morality that they introduced to you, you'll finally be free to be great, the great and accomplished person that you were created to be.

These approaches in which looking back, they're particularly attractive to those of us with broken family backgrounds. Since the garden, Adam and Eve, when they sinned, what did they do? God came to them acting as if he didn't know what they did, and he asked Adam and Eve, "Where are you?" They both hid. They're trying to hide the shame of their sin. They both point the finger at each other. They're trying to deflect the blame. The problem with some of these approaches that say look back, look back, look back to move forward is that it appeals to that fallen nature within ourselves to cover up, to point the finger, to blame others.

Then on the other side, there's a way of looking back at the good things that's promoted using nostalgia. Andrew Abeyta, a researcher at Rutgers-Camden University published an article in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2015 about looking back to move forward. It suggest how one can use nostalgia as a psychological resource for promoting relationship goals and overcoming relationship challenges. It's an interesting article, and it seems that relying on nostalgia can be influential in helping us overcome challenges in relationships, and I think that captures a lot of those people who come from good backgrounds.

When things in life get difficult, when we face challenges, when relationships break down, especially for the first time, we cling to the past. We go on saying if things could only be the way they were with my family, I would have peace again. If only I had success in this area, I would just have peace and joy. We're like Bruce Springsteen singing Glory Days over and over again, and we just keep trying to relive them. We go on trying to satisfy our lack of satisfaction in our hearts just by just pursuing and feeding our co-dependence, going to relationship to relationship, church community to church community, job to job, finding friends with whom we can pursue squad goals, but we never get ultimate satisfaction. We never grow substantially, and we struggle to engage in relationships and live in the present.

Today, I don't want to argue about the dynamics of modern counseling approaches. I don't want to say don't go to counseling. If you are in a desperate situation, come talk to the pastors. Talk to people in your community group. Talk to pastors. We have our prayer team up here after the service as well. If you just during the week have nowhere to go, pursue that care. But I just want to point out these issues, these treatments, they're mainly forces of nursing. They're only treating minor internal issues. It's like putting a new kitchen in a house when the foundation is damaged.

In Christianity, it's neither nature or nurture, nursing nor nostalgia that determines a person's direction in life. It's the nativity that makes people new. As fallen sinners, only faith in Jesus can fix our foundation.

Today, I want to talk about in order to face the blessedness and brokenness of our earthly family like Jesus, we should embrace a new family identity, face family as a lamb, face family as a lion, face family with God. Obviously, I'm keeping, if you've been with us, with the lion and lamb imagery, but I promise that I won't have 10 sub points in this sermon. I really wanted to, but I want to sit on some of this other stuff today.

Where do I get these instructions from? Embrace a new family identity, face family as a lamb, face family as a lion, face family with God. I get this from James 1:1 to 5. Please listen along as I read God's Word. "James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the 12 disciples in the Dispersion: Greetings. scattered among the nations: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."

Embrace a new family identity. If any of you know the book of James, as I'm sure many of you do, and just listening to this text, you learn that this is not a book specifically about family. It's not about how to deal with your family brokenness and blessedness. Some of you might be asking, why are we here?

What makes this text relevant is who James is talking to. Verse 1, "James, a servant of God," he's speaking to the 12 tribes of the Dispersion. That's he's speaking to the Dispersion. That's language in reference to just the Jews. They were spread throughout the region. He's calling them my brothers. He's writing ... James is the brother of Jesus. He's writing to Jewish brothers, Jewish Christians.

Just what's so important to emphasize here is this audience. Like we think we have it bad in Boston. Like we face some intellectual persecution. It's hard to find a Christian date or partner, because there's so few Christians here. Raising a kid here, we think it's difficult, like fighting the squirrels away in the Boston Common. We think like we have it tough, but first century Jewish Christians had it really tough.

This is something that a lot of us, it doesn't make sense. Christianity seemed to have taken off at Jerusalem, but you have to remember the Christians of this day, they were mainly in lands occupied by Roman pagan soldiers. These soldiers did not, and the rulers, governors didn't hesitate to rule with an iron fist if they didn't like someone, didn't like a group.

But just with that lingering potential persecution, the Jews had to deal with persecution from other Jews. We think of the apostle Paul when he was Saul, just pursuing them jealously. But not just in public, but they faced persecution within their own families. You have to think like for a Jew to leave their family, a cult steeped in tradition, we're talking about people who knew their family heritage. They should state it orally going back hundreds and hundreds years. Like this, becoming a Christian in that day was the ultimate betrayal.

We think of a Red Sox fan switching to the Yankees, Barcelona fans switching to Real Madrid, a modern Democrat switching to Republican. I'll stop. Juliet Capulet marrying Romeo Montague. Forgive my French. More seriously, like an orthodox Jew or devout Muslim becoming Christian today. These Jews were people that would've had to scrounge to survive. When they gathered for worship, they would have been on the lookout for zealots. They would have been on the lookout for the Roman authorities.

Just scriptural support from this comes from Galatians 2:7 to 10. "On the contrary." This is the apostle Paul talking about some of his early interactions after his conversion. "On the contrary, when they," the church in Jerusalem, "Saw that I had been entrusted with the gospel to the uncircumcised, just as Peter had been entrusted with the gospel to the circumcised, and when James, and Cephas, and John, who seemed to be pillars, perceived the grace that was given to me, they gave the right hand of fellowship to Barnabas and me, that we should go to the Gentiles and they to the circumcised. Only they asked us to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do."

The poor that Paul's talking about in verse 10, these are Jewish Christians. When you read through the book of Acts and Paul's other writings, you find that you on his missionary journeys traveled across the region towards Europe to collect money, hundreds of miles of travel, and take it back to the Jews in Jerusalem, because in such a heavily populated Jewish area they were the poorest Christians. They were facing really difficult circumstances.

Therefore, the book of James, it's not specifically about our earthly family, our biological family, but it's a book written by a pastor with a congregation full of people who had extreme family issues. If they weren't steadfast in their faith, they were always wavering over whether to continue to face the potential persecution and abandonment for the sake of Christ, or they could return to their families where they had heritage, they had peace, they had comfort.

This is specific advice, and this begs the question, why would these Jewish Christians leave their families? Why would they risk this persecution and this abandonment? Some of them did choose to leave. Others were kicked out.

Obviously, I mean most people are logical. They don't just leave something just because. They typically choose something because it's better than the previous option. Scripture talks about believers in Christ, they have a place in the kingdom of heaven. "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy, he goes and tells all that he has and buys the field." These early Jews believed that, Jewish Christians.

The early church heeded the words and took these words literally. "And everyone who has left houses, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or children, or lands for my name's sake will receive 100-fold and will inherit eternal life." They believed that, and following Jesus Christ they had a means of salvation of peace before God, but also an eternal inheritance.

They also believed they're joining a new family with access to a father. Romans 8:31, "If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also give him ... how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" They have a new heavenly Father that will never fail them.

Finally, in Ephesians it talks about they're joining this line with all the faithful saints and prophets of old, united by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. "So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit."

These people, these are benefits that the early Jewish Christians just saw and they wanted to ... They took them up. They left for the better option, but they also would have known the scriptures. Just when you read through scripture, again it's about a family.

I just want to take you through the brokenness presented in Genesis, and these Jewish Christians, they were the ones, not their families who stayed devout Jews, these were the ones who knew that Jesus was the Messiah. He was just the figure they looked for all along.

You think of Adam and Eve. They immediately disobey God in the garden. Their firstborn kills his younger brother. Abraham and Sarah, who received God's promise, because of infertility, Sarah gives Abraham and concubine and then gets mad and jealous when she gets pregnant. Lot, Abraham's nephew, gets drunk. His daughters get him drunk, they seduce him, commit incest.

Isaac and Rebekah, Isaac, Abraham's son, they play favorites with their twins, whose sibling rivalry becomes one of the worst in history. That's Jacob and Esau. Esau has no discernment, sells his birthright for a bowl of soul. He marries a Canaanite woman. Jacob, he manipulates Esau to give him his birthright. He shows extreme favoritism to one child, Joseph.

Uncle Laban, he deceives Jacob at one point. He makes Jacob work for years and years and years to offer him Rachel, the beautiful daughter, but he gives him Leah. Jacob's daughter Dinah is raped by a pagan, and then her brothers go and kill a whole village. Jacob's oldest son Reuben can't resist his incestuous desires. He sleeps with his father's concubine, the mother of some of his brothers. Ten of Jacob's sons, they plan to kill their brother, but instead they decide to sell him into slavery.

Judah, one of Jacob's sons, as a widower he frequents prostitutes. This is the one who's Jesus ... who started the line towards Jesus. This occurs frequently enough that his daughter-in-law Tamar, whom he had dishonored, knew that she'd disguise himself with one. He slept with his daughter-in-law and got her pregnant.

That's Genesis, but the list just begins. It's blunder in the Old Testament, blunder after blunder by the priests. Lots of false prophets. King David, a man after God's own heart, commits adultery. Solomon, after David unites the kingdom, he unwisely marries 1,000 women.

I'm going, I'm going, but you read the Bible and a lot of Christian traditions talk about the Old Testament figures as heroes, and in many senses they were heroes in the sense that they pointed to Jesus Christ, but it's a whole story of brokenness. For the Jews of Jerusalem, the Jewish Christians of the early days, they would have been starving. They had read the scriptures. They studied them. Jesus was the fulfillment. He was finally that perfect figure, the one who fulfilled the Law, the second Adam that did not sin, the Christ, the Savior to whom all the prophets ... about whom all the prophets spoke of.

These Jews, they were standing on a rock. They had a foundation. Were they to dwell on what they left behind? Are we to dwell on what we leave behind? Do we dwell on the good things, the bad things?

The apostle Paul just captures the spirit of the mindset that Christians are supposed to take as they go forward. Philippians 3, "But one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained."

2 Corinthians 2, "For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." Colossians 3, "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

I hope I'm getting redundant here. This is a little bit in counter to the movement, the tendency not just of our current day, but of our flesh to want to look back to find excuses for our state of trouble, our state of pain, our state of affliction. In Christianity, it's a forward looking mindset.

A lot of Christians, they never grow. They come to faith. They love the gospel. It brings joy to their soul and peace to their hearts, but a lot of them are like the lead character of The Count of Monte Cristo, Edmond Dantes, the lead character. He's unjustly framed and thrown into jail, a medieval jail, and he's there for years. He sleeps on a dirt floor, just in isolation for years. After several years, he escapes and he righteously comes upon a great fortune, a buried treasure. He buys himself a great estate with a mansion and he tries to create a new identity as the Count of Monte Cristo. He has everything he ever dreamed of while living in his jail cell, but he can't completely shake his old identity. At one point, his servant discovers that despite his lavish mansion and bedroom, despite the comforts, the count still sleeps on the floor at night.

That's a lot like us. We come to faith in Christ. We're privy to God as Father. We're privy to forgiveness. We're privy to the means of sanctification and grace, but we're still sleeping on the floor. We aren't owning our new identity. We're defined by our family background, both good and bad.

What did those members of the early church dwell on and meditate on daily to walk forward? What news powered them each day to face the hardship that they faced? They had family wounds lingering. They had temptation to go back to the comforts and the traditions.

At the heart of Christianity is a Savior who is both born into both blessedness and brokenness. Jesus was conceived out of marriage in a day and culture when it was socially and religiously preposterous. When he was brought to the temple, his parents gave the payment that was paid by the poorest of the Jewish community. He could have let his circumstances and dishonorable nature and birth define him, but he didn't.

Jesus could have swung the other way. He was after all the Son of God. He could have proudly used his prodigious knowledge of the scriptures as a means to build us his title within the community. As the chosen one, the son whom the Father sent, the Son of David, Jesus could have used his powers and authority to garner earthly acclaim. Could have denied the cup and established an earthly kingdom, but he didn't.

Jesus had every problem to wallow, every reason to wallow in the brokenness or to cling and bask in the pride stemming from his gifts and calling, but instead was a man whose entire identity was built on who he was in relation to his heavenly Father. When Jesus said, "Into your hands I commit my spirit," he experienced ultimate abandonment, despair, excruciating pain at the hands of his Father. He relinquished ultimate power, pedigree, wealth, acclaim. He offered himself completely to God and his purpose. He knew that his Father had the love and power to redeem such a tragic moment. He's wiling to set aside all vendettas and potential momentary exaltation for our eternal exaltation.

We need to follow in the steps of Christ. We need to embrace our new family identity. We cling to our family, this new family identity. If you're not, this is waking up each day grounding yourself saying, "Lord, I am satisfied in you."

But how do we interact with our earthly family? Are we to leave them, to break all ties with them? Matthew 19:29, are we to literally leave houses, or brothers, or sisters, or father and mother? We don't take that part literal. In some cases, yes. If they resist us and prevent us from worshiping God, we might have to take those steps, but it's the principle. Trust in God first. Follow God first. Be willing to give all of your life, even the slowest relationships with the people closest to you to follow him.

If we are to continue to interact with them, how do we face them? This is point two, face family as sheep. This comes from James 1:1 again. Sorry. My favorite preacher can do like an hour with two words. "James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ." We get this just face family as sheep just by thinking about who James is.

James is a man who could have pulled rank. James is the brother, the earthly brother of Jesus. His parents, Jesus' parents were Mary and the Holy Spirit. James's parents were Mary and Joseph. Look what he calls himself here, "James, a servant of God and the Lord Jesus Christ." This word for servant, that's doulos, servant, slave. Like he's saying I'm a slave of God and Jesus Christ, my brother who I grew up with. James in that day, he could have pulled rank. He's the pastor of the church in Jerusalem.

Then in verse two, he calls his audience brothers. James has a lamb mentality. Even though Jesus was his earthly brother, James knew that Jesus was the Savior, and that just humbles him.

This is the part of the sermon where I really could just give you 10 practical points of how do we face our families as humble lambs, humble sheep, but I think ... and giving you those 10 sub points. But I just want to pause here. I don't want to be too firm, but I just want to ask some pointed questions. Some people come to church week after week for year after year. They're scribbling down the 10 sub points every week. They're at community group. They're giving faithfully, but there's heartache tied to family brokenness that they can ignore for decades.

Just thinking about James, a man, a pastor, Jesus' brother, well studied in the scriptures, lots of wisdom, he shows his humility. He doesn't pull rank. He united himself with his congregation. I ask, who in your family could you pull rank on? Who are the people you're pulling rank on? By that I mean with whom do you have the high moral ground? Have you forgiven them? Have you pursued reconciliation?

Who in your family has sinned against you? Who's that person that you're avoiding just because the history is too complex? Who are you tempted to blame for the many problems in your life? What are you doing to pursue that person's salvation? What are you doing to pursue that person's sanctification if they are a Christian?

Colossians 3 says, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

Luke 6:27 to 31. "But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them."

A lot of Christians love these verses, and like a lot of you who will hear this, shake your head. This sounds great, but there's often that one person or those few people in everyone's life for whom we make an exception to these verses. The wounds, the bitterness that we carry from not pursuing reconciliation, from not forgiving, man, they're obvious to everyone but you.

It doesn't have to be a family member. It doesn't have to be. It could be a friend, a schoolmate, a whole race of people. Who do you need to forgive? A lot of people when I counsel, I can sit with people and meet with them regularly for a year, and they try to act like I don't notice, but I can meet with them once a month for a year, I never hear about that estranged mother. I never hear about that estranged father.

A lot of those people, you might be thinking, "You don't know my situation. You don't know what I've been through." Like that's ... you're right. I honestly knew I was born into blessing, born into a Christian home, raised in the church. I was trained to thank God for that. Like my compassion, I'm so thankful that I didn't have to deal with some of the trauma, some of the pain, physical and emotional, that a lot of you had. But I don't know it, but the Lord does. Hebrews 4:15 says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin."

Forgiveness, faces your family members as a lamb, it doesn't mean trusting the person. It doesn't mean becoming best friends with them. It doesn't mean letting them back in as if nothing ever happened. It doesn't mean that you don't put up boundaries upon reengaging. It certainly doesn't mean that you put up with physical abuse. At Mosaic, we do not support that. If anybody is experiencing that, if anybody is facing that, let us know. Let us know how we can help you do whatever you can to get out of your situation.

Forgiveness means committing in your soul to leave a situation in God's hands, to trust that he will ultimately bring justice, and therefore that you won't hold a sin against the person anymore. You commit not to bring the sin up, not to dwell on it in your heart, not to let it fester and stir up bitterness and self pity. Some people who are victims of just traumatic assault and tragedy, you don't take on the burden for the wounds afflicted against you. We all born in the image of Adam are sinners. We have to turn to Christ in faith to deal with our sin, but we don't ... you are not responsible for that sin.

Brandt Jean, a young African-American man, made an amazing courtroom statement a few weeks ago to a former white female police officer, Amber Guyger. Amber shot his brother. In the statement, Brandt told her that he forgave her. He wanted her to go to God with her guilt to ask for forgiveness. He told her that the best thing he thinks she could do was to give her life to Christ. He told her that he loved her as a person, told her that he didn't wish that she served time, and he wanted to hug her.

That was just an extreme, beautiful example of forgiveness, but we don't have to use his specific language. We don't have to want to hug them. We don't have to wish that people don't serve proper and just legal time or face proper civil punishment. But we're called to be good stewards, not just of our finances as we learned last week, but good stewards of God's love and grace.

1 John 3:16 to 18 says, "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and truth." James is also famous for saying, "Faith without works is dead." If you know God's love, you're a steward. You share it. You give it to others.

What's at stake when we don't cling to our new identity? What's at stake when we don't face our families, family members like sheep? We go back to James and talk about facing family as a lion. "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

James tells his brothers to count it joy. That's what's at stake when we're not clinging to our new identity, when we're not facing our family as lambs. We're losing out on joy. Additionally, we're losing out on steadfastness that leads to perfection that leads to completeness that feels like we're lacking nothing, a perfect soul satisfaction.

Throughout the book, again it's a book specifically about family, James lists many trying situations as tests, poverty, suffering, sickness. It also lists many good situations as tests of faith. Are you wealthy, healthy, in a new job, in a new city, in a position of authority? He's saying, "Surely you're going to face trials in this life," but we can apply that and say you are going to face trials in your family life.

James kind of has a madman's mentality. We don't just ... A lot of people go through that honeymoon phase and you're just shocked when that first trial comes upon us, upon you. But he says count it joy. That trial, especially those within our family, that's a stamp of God's love on your life. We think of this as awful. Like the last thing that I want to do when I see my family is dig up the dirt, bring out the areas where there isn't reconciliation, bring out the areas that have just not been addressed for years.

I heard a song on the radio somewhere in the low 90s, where you never know what you're going to get. It was a country song by Uncle Johnny and the Bullfrogs. No, it wasn't actually called that. I heard ... It was on like the scan mode. I heard one line, and it said, "You want the spark, but not the burn." That's a lot of us in relation to our families, and even in our Christian life. We want the good things.

When I see my family, like I'm tempted to visit. I just want to visit nice places, eat, drink, turn on the TV, avoid, do all that I can to avoid those difficult conversations, reminisce, and avoid that conversation of, "Mom, dad, are you going to church? Mom, dad, are you pursuing your relationship with God? Siblings, where are you on your faith?" We want the spark. We want the good things, but we don't want the burn. If you do family right, in the church and in your nuclear families, like there should be some burn.

That's the benefit of family. By your connection through blood, you have a naturally stronger connection. You can risk hard conversations. You can risk poking and nudging, and they are still tied to you, whether they like it or not. Of course, pursue them in gentleness, love, respect, but take advantage of the fact that your family, whether they disagree with you or not, like they have to stay connected to you. It's just that intimacy that you have just in being fully known yet fully loved that we experience in family that points to the love that's complete and perfect in God.

Just in scripture, this 1 Corinthians 7, Paul tells his audience stay where you are in many situations. We need to ... The first instinct is to book it from our families, but we have to take advantage of the roots and connections we have with people. Show them you've changed. How can you convince the people in your life that you've changed through your relationship with Jesus if you're never around them, if you don't even know them beyond a shallow level?

This is hard. When you're living far away, like many of us here, whether you're a single or a young couple living away from family, or whether you're parents here living away from your children or parents, it's really hard to do this from a distance, but you need to be creative. Be practical. How can you engage your family members? As a church plant, we really want you to stay, but we need you to invest.
Why do we do this with our family? Why do we pursue them with zeal? It's out of response, out of love, out of gratitude for Jesus, for God who continued to pursue us and pursue us, pursue his people over and over again. I went through the Genesis sin trail just to illustrate man's brokenness. God pursues us as a good shepherd seeking that one lost sheep out of the 99.

Why do this in our family? James 5:19 says it's good for them. "My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from ..." This is the last words of the book. "If anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins."

That family member that hurt you, just that person I asked you to think about or those few people, do you really want them to have eternal separation, eternal condemnation from God? When God pours out his wrath on the world, do you want them to taste that as Jesus once did?

Also, why pursue our family with zeal? Why not just sit back and relax with them all the time? It breeds steadfastness, perfection, completeness. You learn it's more blessed to give than to receive. It's more blessed to be a blessing. Your tastes and desires change from things that you like to things that are good and godly. You go from drinking coffee with sugar to drinking black coffee, drinking soda to water. Do you really want full soul satisfaction? Pursue the salvation of those people around you, the people who you are most naturally connected to in this life to bring about salvation, to be used to bring about salvation as your earthly family.

It's painful. Count it all joy when you receive kinds of various trials. I hate trials. In my own marriage, I hate when Joyce and I have a disagreement. It's not just an argument. Any form of disagreement I want to avoid, but by God's grace I've learned the benefit. I've learned the joyful part of it. She's often just like spewing truth after truth after truth at me, and I don't want to hear it, but in the back of my mind ... Sometimes I'm spewing out bitterness, saying, "No, no, no." At the back of my mind though, I'm learning to say, "Yes, yes, yes. This is rooting out the impurities of my soul. This is good for me. This is good for our marriage. We are growing here, and I want more of it."

I'm calling you to face your family as lions. Facing family as a lamb, that's the heart that we have. Face your family as lions, pursue their salvation with the zeal of the lion going after its prey.

Now, face family with God. We're not alone in doing this work. Clinging to your identity in Christ just daily, that's difficult. Pursuing those family members with the heart of a sheep, those people that you don't want to pursue and just being constant in it like a lion, it's tiring, it's confusing, often don't know what you want to do. James 5 gives us some comfort. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him."

James wrote for this people about church problems, but we certainly need to ask God for wisdom in engaging our families. For many of us, we'll find satisfaction with the words that we can pursue God without reproach. He's a Father that's never going to tire of us coming into his presence to ask for wisdom, ask for discernment, ask how to navigate the situation.

Why is that the case? Like there's a connection when we do that, when we humble ourselves to the point that we say, "God, I need you. I needed Jesus to go to the cross to die for me, to save me from my sin. I need your help right now in this moment to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I need your wisdom to deal with this difficult family situation right here." That's a correction. That's a recalibration of who we are before God. That's the position we were originally created to be.

Adam, his first relationship was not with Eve. It was before God, having peace with God. Adam walked in the garden, tilled the garden. He named the animals with God. He always needed God to guide him and to be submissive to him. We are creatures. God is the creator. When we're in this position properly, when we see our need for God, we're able to see our family situations properly. Just notice, if any of your lacks nothing at the beginning of the verse, like this is saying God offers us everything. We see family properly.

Some of you are expecting too much from your families. Some of you place way too much pressure on your fathers and your mothers, whatever were those primary figures in your life, those shepherds. You want them to fill the ... those old shepherds to fill the role that only the one great and true shepherd could fulfill. Family is designed in this life to not fully satisfy. It's only when we're in relation to God, submitting to him, turning to him, being reliant upon him that we are in our proper place, that we can have full satisfaction, that we can have peace, that we can feel fully secure, that we can see, just understand, make sense of the blessedness that we've tasted, not make idols out of that, and make sense of the brokenness. God, how are you using this brokenness that I've experienced for your glory? It doesn't make sense, but I trust you.

To close, I just want to read Isaiah 58:9 to 11. This is the prophet Isaiah. "Then you will call, and the Lord will answer. You will cry for help, and he will say, 'Here am I.' If you do away with the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, and if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness, and your gloom will become like midday. And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones. And you will be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail."

Do you want that? Just turn to him, position yourself properly before the Lord. You'll know how to make sense of your family situation. Please join me in prayer.

Lord, we praise you that we don't have to be people that look back. We don't have to be constantly searching for a new identity. Lord, we have a sure foundation in you. You're a good Father that loves his children, and pursues them, and pursues them, and pursues them even when they sin against him, and yet you still offer eternal riches. Lord, we just pray that we would cling to you, cling to who we are through you, and that would give us a heart to pursue our families, a heart to pursue them with the proper heart of humility, with love, with grace, with gentleness, and also a zeal to be constant in the pursuit.

Lord, we pray, help us to find rest, find peace, find completeness, perfection, full soul satisfaction when we pause to turn and gaze upon you and ask you for guidance as we just wait upon the day that you return. We pray this in Jesus' name, amen.