Never assume your instructions are clearly understood and will be carried out. The Bible says, “The hand of the diligent makes rich,” and the word diligent means paying careful attention to details. When you give someone instructions, check to be sure they’ve made a note of them. If not, you should be concerned. The unlearned and uncommitted tend to trust their memory with everything, but the shortest pencil is still better than the longest memory.
When someone doesn’t consider what you’re saying important enough to write down, they are sending you a signal; the light is flashing red. Even if their intentions are good, in their busyness or overconfidence, your instructions can easily be forgotten. Those who are follow-through people always ask additional questions about the assignment and instructions you give them.
For example, when you ask them to telephone somebody about a particular matter, they should automatically ask you: (a) Is there a deadline on this? (b) When do you need a report back on the results of this call? (c) Is there any additional information I need to know? If those kinds of questions are not forthcoming, chances are that person is not giving enough thought to their assignment. When someone tells you, “I’ll try to get to it,” that’s another flashing red light, because much of the time they won’t. The word try often reveals halfheartedness.
Give your instructions to one specific person—not two. Document the date you gave it to them and when you need them to report back. In other words, only give instructions to someone who is qualified to receive and implement them.
Never Assume
“The hand of the diligent makes rich.” Proverbs 10:4 NKJV
February 22, 2017 • Bob Gass
Conquering Your Fear Of Intimacy (2)
February 28, 2017 • Bob Gass
Emotional intimacy is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. It fills their souls and yours too. It eliminates our loneliness. And yes, even in our macho society, the Bible suggests emotional intimacy between men. The elders of the church at Ephesus, realizing they would never see Paul again, “wept freely, and fell on Paul’s neck and kissed him, sorrowing most of all for the words which he spoke, that they would see his face no more” (vv. 37-38 NKJV). Famed athlete Bill Russell said, “Most people have a harder time letting themselves love, than finding someone to love them.” So, what can you do? (1) Understand the source of your fear. What happened to make you avoid a desire to be known? (2) Accept yourself completely—every feature, every imperfection—as God’s masterpiece; then you can stop worrying about someone rejecting you because you’re not perfect. (3) Test the waters. Start gradually with a few friends and begin to share your needs and how you really feel. Confess your struggle with your weight, self-image, habits, or other issues. Instead of pretending you’re something that you’re not, ask for support. Find joy in being authentic. (4) Practice saying, “I love you” to the significant people in your life even if it feels foreign to do so. Stop fearing. “I love you” doesn’t translate, “I want to be your slave,” nor does it say, “I’ll tolerate anything and remain in relationship with you.” It just means “I’m committed to our relationship, and I believe that by God’s help we can work through the problem.”
Conquering Your Fear Of Intimacy (1)
February 27, 2017 • Bob Gass
Adam and Eve had no secrets from each other. “They were both naked…and were not ashamed.” As a couple, God said, they had power to rule the world. And that’s when Satan entered the picture. What did he attack? Their intimacy! “The eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings” (Genesis 3:7 NKJV). The word intimacy means “to be open, transparent, and trusting.” When Adam and Eve lost that, they started hiding from God—and each other. And we’ve been hiding from each other ever since. Emotional intimacy is the bedrock of any meaningful relationship. Without it, relationships become shallow and unfulfilling. We are afraid of revealing to others our fears, needs, insecurities, secrets, hopes, dreams, weird opinions, or our undesirable parts. And this fear is rooted in the fear of loneliness: “If you really knew me, you’d leave me.” Or the fear of inadequacy: “You may be disappointed in me because I cannot fulfill all your expectations.” Or the fear of losing control: “Now that you know how I feel, you may use it to control me.” Women play “hard to get,” and men play the “tough guy” who doesn’t need anybody. What’s the answer? Learning to pray together. Our most honest moments are before the God who already knows everything about us. When we share such moments, the barriers come down, our hearts become tender toward one another, and we move closer together.
The Father/Son Talk (2)
February 26, 2017 • Bob Gass
Psychologist Henry Brandt tells how his son got upset when he wouldn’t permit him to go out alone in a car with a girl down to the lake after dark. “What’s wrong, Dad?” demanded the son. “Don’t you trust me?” Brandt replied: “In a car, alone at night, in front of a lake, with a beautiful girl? I wouldn’t trust me!” Solomon got involved early and strongly in the lives of his children and educated them about God’s perspective on sex. The three largest sections in Proverbs dealing with one topic are found in chapters 5 through 7. In chapters 5 and 6, Solomon dealt exclusively with premarital sex—fornication. He devoted almost the entirety of chapter 7 to extramarital sex—adultery. And in between, he gave a frank discussion of sex within the will of God. For too long pastors and parents have kept their heads buried in the sand, hoping this topic would just go away. But the subject can’t be avoided. Pollster George Gallup stated, “There’s no question about it, sex-related issues are going to become the most important issues facing all churches in the foreseeable future. Abortion, AIDS, premarital sex, homosexuality—all those are going to be at the vortex.” Solomon warned his son, “With her enticing speech she caused him to yield.” So whether you’re a father, a mother, a single parent, or even a grandparent, your child won’t make the wrong move if they’re not in the wrong place, with the wrong person, at the wrong time. So teach them, “If you don’t want to get burned, stay away from the fire!”