* We are meant for intimacy - with God and others. 

  * Intimacy is to be fully known and fully accepted.

  * When you have people in your life who know you fully and 100% accept you then you can grow and mature as a human being. 

  * Without that, all growth stops. 

* Intimacy is built on vulnerability. 

  * Letting people into your life is hard, but important. 

  * Problem - intimacy often reveals insecurity.  

* Song of Solomon is a book about intimacy. 

  * It’s a physical picture of intimacy in marriage. 

  * It points to the intimacy we can have with God.

* Here in chapter one, we see the woman wanting intimacy w/her betrothed. 

* vs 1 - “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.”

  * She’s really enjoying the idea of intimacy (we’re made for it). 

  * Then she shifts from intimacy to insecurity. 

  * She stops thinking about him and them to thinking about herself. 

  * Intimacy is a matter of focus. 

    * If you focus on the other person and how they accept you, you can be intimate. 

    * If you focus on your “issue,” you cannot be intimate. 

* vs 6 - “Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun…” 

  * She didn’t like her dark skin. 

  * Somewhere along the way she started comparing herself to other women who didn’t have dark skin and she thought they were prettier than her.  

  * When you're insecure you think everyone sees what they don’t like about you rather than what they do like. 

  * As a result, you will want to withhold certain information about yourself. 

    * But when you do that you cannot be truly intimate, which hinders your growth as a human! 

  * Until you deal with your insecurity it's going to negatively affect your intimacy.  

* Here's an interesting point - the very thing the woman was insecure about was what her man loved!  

* vs 9-10 - “I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariot horses. Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels.”

  * He liked everything about her!  

* On this foundation, there are three responses to insecurity within intimacy:  

* 1) Be accepting of your spouse.

  * A "no matter what" mentality is the only thing that will draw people close together.  

  * Revelation 3:20 shows us how Christ accepts us just as we are.  

  * The more you fully accept another the more you’re able to receive their acceptance. 

* 2) Receive acceptance from your spouse. 

  * The more you focus on your spouse the more you can receive their love. 

  * Do not focus on what you don’t like about yourself. 

  * However, if there’s an issue you can control, do it!

* 3) Be acceptable to your spouse. 

  * If there are things you're insecure about and you can change them, then change them.  

    * A nagging or complaining spouse is very unattractive. 

    * So if you're insecure about your spouse not being attracted to you then try being nice for a change. 

  * But if you’re insecure about something you can't change, accept it. 

    * When you do you are accepting God, the One who made you like that. 

    * And this will lead to intimacy with Him!  

* Intimacy is built on acceptance.  

  * This is true in every relationship, including our relationships with God, spouse, and friends. 

  * Some insecurities may never go away, but those are the very things God uses to draw you close to your spouse. 

  * When your spouse loves you unconditionally it’s like a magnet!!