* We are meant for intimacy - with God and others.
* Intimacy is to be fully known and fully accepted.
* When you have people in your life who know you fully and 100% accept you then you can grow and mature as a human being.
* Without that, all growth stops.
* Intimacy is built on vulnerability.
* Letting people into your life is hard, but important.
* Problem - intimacy often reveals insecurity.
* Song of Solomon is a book about intimacy.
* It’s a physical picture of intimacy in marriage.
* It points to the intimacy we can have with God.
* Here in chapter one, we see the woman wanting intimacy w/her betrothed.
* vs 1 - “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.”
* She’s really enjoying the idea of intimacy (we’re made for it).
* Then she shifts from intimacy to insecurity.
* She stops thinking about him and them to thinking about herself.
* Intimacy is a matter of focus.
* If you focus on the other person and how they accept you, you can be intimate.
* If you focus on your “issue,” you cannot be intimate.
* vs 6 - “Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun…”
* She didn’t like her dark skin.
* Somewhere along the way she started comparing herself to other women who didn’t have dark skin and she thought they were prettier than her.
* When you're insecure you think everyone sees what they don’t like about you rather than what they do like.
* As a result, you will want to withhold certain information about yourself.
* But when you do that you cannot be truly intimate, which hinders your growth as a human!
* Until you deal with your insecurity it's going to negatively affect your intimacy.
* Here's an interesting point - the very thing the woman was insecure about was what her man loved!
* vs 9-10 - “I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariot horses. Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels.”
* He liked everything about her!
* On this foundation, there are three responses to insecurity within intimacy:
* 1) Be accepting of your spouse.
* A "no matter what" mentality is the only thing that will draw people close together.
* Revelation 3:20 shows us how Christ accepts us just as we are.
* The more you fully accept another the more you’re able to receive their acceptance.
* 2) Receive acceptance from your spouse.
* The more you focus on your spouse the more you can receive their love.
* Do not focus on what you don’t like about yourself.
* However, if there’s an issue you can control, do it!
* 3) Be acceptable to your spouse.
* If there are things you're insecure about and you can change them, then change them.
* A nagging or complaining spouse is very unattractive.
* So if you're insecure about your spouse not being attracted to you then try being nice for a change.
* But if you’re insecure about something you can't change, accept it.
* When you do you are accepting God, the One who made you like that.
* And this will lead to intimacy with Him!
* Intimacy is built on acceptance.
* This is true in every relationship, including our relationships with God, spouse, and friends.
* Some insecurities may never go away, but those are the very things God uses to draw you close to your spouse.
* When your spouse loves you unconditionally it’s like a magnet!!