•God has created us for oneness - three levels:
•1) God, 2) Spouse, 3) Others (family, community, church)
•It's easier to love God than people - He doesn't stink, say the wrong thing, etc.
•Without God - 1+1=2. With God - 1+1+1=1. The Holy Spirit is the bonding agent.
•John 17:20-24 - “Father make them one as we are one.” They are Three.
•Cookie dough - individual ingredients mixed together make a new substance.
•The Holy Spirit is the eggs (bonding), the world is the mixing bowl (battle).
•Battle - God puts us in the context of battle so we’ll gel together - Gladiator: “As One!”
•Oneness means intimacy - “in-to-me-see” - fully known and fully accepted.
•** ACCEPTANCE is the key to oneness. LOVE is the key to acceptance.**
•ECC 4:9-10 - Dixie Stampede - when you’re one, you exert less effort but get more result.
•** THREE things you need to experience oneness (intimacy):
•1) CLOSENESS (Ecc 4:11) - God made us to be close - body heat (Cold Bed!)
•The result of Closeness is Comfort. But it often takes time. Two aspects:
•a)Two cold people (both hurting).
•b) One cold & one warm (one hurting and the other healthy) - the healthy needs to be patient.
•Temporary pain always leads to permanent gain.
•How do we stay close? Two aspects:
•ECC 4:12a - know you need each other (you’re in a battle) - the devil seeks to distract, deceive, divide.
•ECC 4:12b - invite a third person into the mix - God!
•*** Picture of Intimacy - Song of Solomon - a picture of marriage:
•SoS 1:2-4 - Kissing can’t happen unless you are willing to get close! (the girl chased him!!!)
•SoS 1:6 - Intimacy reveals our insecurities - vulnerability often makes people want to HIDE!
•Acceptance is the answer. Two facets to acceptance:
•a) Be accepting - Revelation 3:20 is our example.
•b) Be acceptable - if can change it, do it. But if not, accept yourself as God created you.
*** Don't accept the things you can change, and accept the things you can't.
•note - she was insecure about the thing her husband loved (vs 8-10 & 15 prove it).
•2) CONCENTRATION (Sos 4:1-16) - proactively think positive thoughts about others.
•When dating we think of what’s Right w/our spouse, but in marriage we think of what’s Wrong.
•This is why we have to take thoughts captive.
•Positive thinking about a person bonds you to that person. (where your treasure is....)
•In marriage, Concentration leads to Captivation - SoS shows us a captivated man.
*** When you are captivated, the things you used to criticize become cute.
•3) COMPLETENESS (1 Cor 13:4-7) - before oneness you need twoness.
•Two complete individuals - spiritually mature - LOVE is the mark of maturity.
•The characteristics of love in 1 Cor show up in the fruit of the Spirit Paul lists in Galatians 5:22-23.
•KEY - Love releases the power of the Spirit in our relationships - love for God and for others.
•Conflict - it is easy to love someone when nothing is wrong.
•Two things always manifest when conflict takes place:
•1) the issue itself
•2) the ability of the person to handle the issue.
** If #1 is good #2 will take care of itself.
** Two types of people:
•** those who welcome feedback and are willing to own their problem.
•** those who don’t welcome feedback and will not own their problem.
•Conflict is resolved and Closeness maintained when:
•a) ACCEPT - both parties willingly accept their part
•b) LOVE - both parties operate in LOVE.